Striving for a healthier US
“The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships.” – Esther Perel
Kelly’s Experience and Training
Parenting two young boys revealed a new dynamic within my marriage, along with sleep deprivation, navigating life changes and career. A curve ball that many families, women and partners experience. How to balance all this, re-evaluate the needs within my marriage and find time for each relationship became a priority to understand. The struggle is real! I had a strong desire to learn and improve the way we negotiated this juggling act.
Additionally, as a registered network provider for the Australian Football League Players Association (AFL PA), relationship distress as a result of challenges specific to the sporting industry remains a consistent theme in my work with clients. Couples therapy and relationship coaching in the context of sport and career stress has become a predominant reason for seeking psychological assistance.
I completed Gottman Method Couples Therapy Level 1 and 2 training. I was amazed to see the positive impact of implementing Gottman Method strategies on my own marriage, along with the ability of my clients to manage conflict and re-build connection with their partners. This prompted me to engage in further training to deliver Gottman Couples Workshops to provide widespread support to couples experiencing a range of challenges and perhaps reach those who do not feel comfortable engaging in couples therapy.
“Working briefly on your marriage every day will do more for your health and longevity than working out at a health club.” – John Gottman
Relationships in Sport
Having observed the impact of sporting culture and pressures of high performance environments on long-term relationships, I developed a keen interest for working with couples in sport, including athletes, coaches and other staff. The sporting industry is a relentless and competitive environment that requires a high level of discipline, commitment and sacrifice from athletes, coaches and their partners. This dynamic can significantly impact the couple’s relationship, leading to conflicts, misunderstandings, and even separation, impacting performance and retirement outcomes for entire families.
The New York Times (Bishop, 2009) has previously reported divorce rates between 60 and 80 percent among couples in the American National Football League (NFL). The unique pressures of media and public scrutiny, social issues, financial challenges, substance use, gambling, injuries, selection pressure and the need for athletes to be self-focused to maximise performance, can negatively impact on relationships. Furthermore, thinking, behaviour and communication styles developed during the sporting career can become entrenched, affecting wellbeing and relationships well into retirement. Interventions for couples in the sporting space are essential to assist athletes and their partners communicate effectively, manage stress, and maintain healthy and fulfilling relationships in the context of unique stressors.
Strive Psychology’s primary purpose is to make education and training for couples in sporting and corporate arenas more widely accessible to reduce the burden of relationship trauma on individuals, families, performance and functioning both short- and long-term. Preventive programs incorporating not just individuals, but partners and families, are required to facilitate cultural change and take a systems approach to sporting and corporate challenges which impact on relationships. Couples require preventative strategies to manage the impact of careers on relationships.
“The point is that neuroses don’t have to ruin a marriage. If you can accommodate each other’s “crazy” side and handle it with caring, affection, and respect, your marriage can thrive.” – John Gottman
SEVEN PRINCIPLES FOR MAKING MARRIAGE WORK
Gottman Couples Workshop
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is a workshop designed for couples in committed relationships. The aim is to assist couples in applying evidence-based techniques to:
(1) improve conflict management,
(2) strengthen friendship, intimacy, connection and respect.
(3) create shared purpose and meaning.
This educational workshop, developed by the Gottman Institute, is based on acclaimed 40 years of research by Dr. John Gottman, which was published in the New York Times Bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Dr. John Gottman, is a world renowned researcher and therapist in relationship stability. Dr Gottman has been recognised as “one of the top 10 Most Influential Therapists of the past quarter-century” and lays claim to his ability to detect which couples will divorce or stay together with 91% accuracy.
Who can attend?
Couples that would benefit from this workshop:
Pre-engaged
Engaged
Everyone from newlyweds to seniors
Those who wish to enhance a good marriage
Those who wish to gain conflict management skills
Couples that this workshop is not suited for:
Those with severe relationship distress
Those with significant emotional or physical abuse
Those with addictions to drugs, alcohol or gambling
Those with serious mental health problems
If you are unsure if this is suitable for you or your organisation, please contact Kelly and she will help you to assess if this workshop is right for you.
What’s Involved?
This workshop has multiple delivery options depending on time availability. Content may be presented as a 2, 4 or 6 hour workshop. However, to uphold the credibility of the research and maximise the learning experience for couples, the entire 12 hour workshop is recommended which can be delivered over 6-8 weeks or in 2 consecutive days. Education, demonstrations and couples practice sessions are aimed at:
Developing skills in managing conflict constructively
Fostering respect, affection and intimacy through effective communication.
Gaining skills for working through and resolving those same old arguments that comes up over and over again!
Developing a positive perspective of the relationship through Improving friendship, fondness and admiration.
Creating a couples sense of shared meaning
Maintaining progress and strategies throughout lifetime.
Please Note: The class does not include sharing problems and issues publicly. Couple's exercises are done privately.
“Our partners don’t always have to think like we think. That’s what makes life interesting—it would be boring to be married to yourself. In fact, that’s called being single.” – John Gottman
“There is no greater source of joy and meaning in our lives than our relationships with others.” – Esther Perel
Kelly is an engaging, confident and witty presenter, appealing to any audience with her sense of realism and personal anecdotes. She has presented research at conferences both Nationally and Internationally, with extensive experience delivering presentations and public speaking.
This course is for anyone! Not just couples involved in sport. If you, your organisation or your sporting club are interested in participating in or hosting a workshop, please register your interest here and Kelly will be in contact with you to discuss your requirements.
“Yes, it’s serious and important work, but we also want you to have fun. Find the moments of humor. Find the joy, even when it feels difficult. Don’t forget why you fell in love with each other, and most important, don’t forget to laugh.”
– John Gottman